I spent a lot of the second semester of my junior year being absolutely frantic about my future after St. Joe’s. One of my professors joked with me that my freak outs were incredibly pre-mature; and I responded that I was always one who liked to do things ahead of schedule. As a senior, I am constantly asked what my plans are after graduation and what I want to do with my life; and I’m expected to give a real, serious answer. Well, here’s my answer: I just want to be.
I want to be happy. I want to wake up every single day,
Once upon a time, there was a socially awkward freshman girl who came to Hawk Hill thinking that four years is quite a long time to be in college. She thought she would get sick of life here, but then she made quite a few friends, joined clubs, and got super involved so her days were filled with constant happenings and all the while she was having fun. Weeks and months passed by right before her eyes. Then one day, when she took a moment’s pause she discovered she was in the midst of her senior year. In the wake of her realization,
– The Beatles, ‘I’m Only Sleeping’
Friday night, 9:04 PM:
It is then that the cognitive dissonance sets in, filling my mind with conflicting thoughts and potential FOMO. My heart knows that I’m thoroughly craving curling up in my bed, smearing on an indulgent face mask, and reading a book or working on my writing. I want to listen to Bruce Springsteen and drink oolong tea.
I want to be alone.
But my head is screaming, “That’s not the college experience! You need to go out whenever you can and do everything!