Once upon a time, there was a socially awkward freshman girl who came to Hawk Hill thinking that four years is quite a long time to be in college. She thought she would get sick of life here, but then she made quite a few friends, joined clubs, and got super involved so her days were filled with constant happenings and all the while she was having fun. Weeks and months passed by right before her eyes. Then one day, when she took a moment’s pause she discovered she was in the midst of her senior year. In the wake of her realization, she said to herself, “Oh my god.”
I am still absolutely baffled by the fact that this is my last year at St. Joe’s. I vividly remember moving into my dorm room on the fourth floor of McShain, and crying to my parents that I didn’t want to do this and that I wanted to go home. I remember meeting my RA and hiding behind my mom because I was too nervous and shy to say more than three words. I remember hanging pictures on the cinder block walls and attempting to make my dorm room feel homey. I remember eagerly heading over to the chapel for my first SJU Sunday night mass. I remember walking into Barbelin and showing up to my first college class 35 minutes early because I was scared that I would be late. I remember all of this like it was just yesterday, but plot twist: It was over 3 years ago.
My life here has been jam packed and every time I take a good look at a calendar I am absolutely flabbergasted by how much time has gone by. Days are filled with class, appointments with professors, meetings for different clubs and organizations, hours spent studying in the library, adventures with my friends, and late night heart-to-hearts with my roommates. With days so filled, it’s no wonder that they seem to fly!
Now that I am finally a senior and will soon be graduating, I have begun thinking about how my days are numbered. I’ve already started worrying about what is going to happen when I can’t storm into my apartment and have one of my roommates present to listen to my latest vexation. I’ve already gotten teary eyed thinking about the day when I can’t just stroll into the English department and be greeted by so many familiar and friendly faces. And I can only guess the emotional wreck I will be when it’s time to pack up my apartment and have to say goodbye to the place that has become a home.
But, as I lie in my bed and start to think about all of these goodbyes that I will eventually have to make, I force myself to stop. I am already the classic, sentimental senior; but I need to remember that I’m still here and need to be present to the life that I have made and will leave in a matter of months. It’s only September. Yes, before I know it I will be walking across the stage receiving my diploma but I can put off the worrying and fretting for the time being.